Author: I know 50 Shades of  Grey is popular and all that, but do we really need another immaturely erotic novel that seems more dangerous and naughty than it really is?

Publisher: Look, I already instagrammed the cover at Payless.  So just write the damn thing, alright?

Publisher: 50 Shades of Grey is really popular.  Let's do something sexy like that.

Artist: You mean a mildly sexy photo that implies that light bondage and submission is romantic and erotically and ironically empowering?

Publisher: Exactly.

Does she even have peripheral vision?

Publisher: I said I wanted a chainimail bikini!

Artist: Right.  Like it's wise to protect the breasts... and nothing else!

Publisher: And a chain-mail veil is a wise idea?

Artist: ...

Publisher: Alright, you know the Dresden series?
Artist: Yeah!  Those are great books.  Good covers, too.
Publisher: Yeah. This is like that, but we want teenage boys to think there'll be a lot of sex in it.
Artist: *shrugs* How's a pink schoolgirl outfit and a ninja sword suit you?
Publisher: Genius!

Artist: So, what's the book about.

Publisher: Eh, who cares?  Just rip off the Hunger Games poster.

Artist: *shrugs*

Artist: So, what's the book about?

Publisher: It doesn't matter.  We want Joseph Gordon-Levitt to star in the adaptation.

Artist: *shrugs*

Author: I want a cover featuring a regal, confident woman.

Artist: Daenerys from Game of Thrones.  Got it.

Author: That's not what I mea--

Artist: Yeah, yeah.  I got it.